


Please come home

by Meelah



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Drug Use, Forced Marriage, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kid Fic, M/M, Men with kids, Mutual Non-Con, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Recovery, forced hetero, men with babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 05:44:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4654584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meelah/pseuds/Meelah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>kinkmeme prompt: </p><p>Post game Dorian returns to Tevinter for x reason. When he gets there he's informed by his parents that he has a new wife arranged for him. As he's arguing with them someone comes up from behind and knocks him out. That's the last he's truly aware of until he wakes up in Skyhold suffering the effects of heavy drug use withdrawal. Finds out a good 3-5 years have passed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please come home

**Author's Note:**

> Please come home. Please come home.  
> Find the place where your feet know to walk  
> And follow your own trail home.
> 
> \-- Jane Harper, Please Come Home

_Blink._

The wooden ceiling swims into view and Dorian wonders if it's supposed to be _moving_.

_Blink._

There are voices, speaking… and then there are not. Hand on his shoulder, reassuring in it’s familiarity.

_Blink._

Darkness and light. _Shadows_ , Dorian decides. If he could only - and to his amazement he sees a hand, _but it can’t be mine, my hand doesn't_ … but the hand seems to obey his command to reach for the shadow. _Pain_ \- this is mine too, Dorian thinks idly as he falls back into the darkness.

_Blink._

“Kadan?” 

_That voice_ , Dorian thinks, _that voice… am I back in the fade?_

“Kadan?” and then, low “Don’t fight it… You’re home and everything is going to be okay…”

_Blink._

When Dorian awakes, he can smell something delicious. He swallows hard, meaning to speak but his throat is dry and he only manages a croak. 

“Thirsty? Let me help you…” 

Dorian feels a strong hand supporting his head and a goblet on his lips and he drinks like a dying man in a desert. Maybe it’s not far away from the truth, _maybe I am dying_ , he thinks as he’s laid back to the bed.

“Bull…” he whispers, and the Iron Bull takes his hand.  
“I’m here, Dorian…” the man says, with a little squeeze of Dorian's hand.  
“What…” Dorian asks, opening his eyes, and Maker he’s never been this happy to see horns.  
“We rescued you…” the Bull says in a low voice “Kadan… Forgive me… I’m so sorry it took us so long…” Dorian can feel lips on his palm, the rough stubble.

Dorian doesn’t say anything, fingers curling a little bit because _kaffas it feels so good to feel again _. And the Bull holds his hand and for a moment it’s all quiet… just the distant noises of the castle going about it’s day.__

__“I was… in Tevinter…” Dorian says slowly and swallows, just the thought feels heavy “I can’t remember…”  
“Blood magic…” the Bull growls “If I had been there…”_ _

__Dorian breathes out, _yes_ and then _no no no_ …_ _

__“They… they didn’t…” his voice breaks again, and he’s ashamed but he has to know, he has to know “What did they do to me..?”  
“You don’t remember anything?” the Bull asks softly “Anything at all?”_ _

__Dorian is quiet, trying to keep his breathing calm but his heart is beating fast, anxiety and panic twisting in his stomach._ _

___“Lea…” he says slowly “They made me… marry Lea…” and the Bull whines helplessly, the sound so out of place from the big man's lips._  
“It was all them… it wasn’t you… none of it…” the Bull murmurs.  
“Oh Maker…” Dorian whispers, he feels sick to his stomach “Did they... get what they wanted..?” afraid of the question, but even more scared of not knowing.  
“Yes. They did.” the Bull says low and Dorian closes his eyes again, willing himself back to the bliss that was unconsciousness, back to the sweet nothing, and can only hear the Bulls words through a thick haze “But they’ll never have _you_ , kadan…” 

****

Dorian can’t really fill in many details, but all that they tell him fits in. He had been captured and his father - _his own father, may his soul rot_ \- had performed the blood ritual. He had wed Lea as had been arranged when they were children, and during the past 3 years he had produced offspring as he had been contracted to Lea’s family. Two girls, and finally a boy, Dorian is told as he stares blankly into the distance.

“Do you remember… any of it, kadan?” the Bull asks quietly, hand on Dorian’s shoulder gently like he is a newborn chick, fragile and weak.

Dorian doesn’t reply at first, but the Bull is patient and won’t ask again.

“Girl… with black hair…” he says finally “She is my…”

The Bull nods “Oldest one, her name is Leonora…” and after a pause “I have met her… she’s quite a character, of course…” there is a hint of a smile in the man’s voice and Dorian turns his head slightly to look at him.  
“You’ve met her?” he asks “Here? In Skyhold?”  
“Yes… She’s here with Lea. And Lily, the younger girl. And…” the Bull hesitates for a second “…Hal, the baby...”  
“Fasta vass!” Dorian grunts as he understands the reason the hesitation “They named him… after my father?”  
The Bull chuckles a little embarrassed “Another fucked up ‘vint tradition you have going on there?”

Dorian breathes out, exasperated. He remembers the girl, as a baby… Lea’s face, sitting next to him holding her, looking for something on his face. Remembers her older, sitting on the floor playing with her nug, serious and never smiling.

“Lea is here too.” Dorian says, it’s not a statement.  
“Yes.” the Bull confirms “My contacts had been unable to get any information beyond official announcements from the house of Pavus, but her letters provided us information that allowed us to extract you. But her condition was simple - either it was all of you or no one…”  
“Yes, that sounds like her…” Dorian says quietly “Bull, I didn’t…” he tries but the other man interrupts him.  
“I know, Dorian…” he says, touching Dorian’s cheek with his calloused fingers, it feels like sandpaper and Dorian flinches “You don’t have to explain…”  
“No, let me speak!” Dorian says as he pushes that hand away, a little angry now at the easy forgiveness he doesn’t deserve “I was a talented child, and as soon as the extent of my genius was know, all the families were tripping over themselves to get their daughters in line for the next breeding season! The marriage was arranged with the Licinianus family when we were children...” 

The Bull doesn’t say anything.

“I had nothing against her, personally, it’s just that I didn’t… I don’t…” Dorian’s words seem to get stuck in his throat and he swallows, hard “And they made me…” his hands are curling into fists. 

Still the Bull doesn’t say anything, waiting for Dorian to say what he has to.

“Maker! They made me…” the mage’s voice breaks, his chest rising and falling fast, his eyes stinging “And I c-couldn’t stop them… Couldn’t stop them getting my cock hard and making me m-mount her like a fucking hog mounts a sow!” his hand is shaking as he pulls it away from the Bull and presses his hands on his face, rubbing so hard he sees stars trying to wipe the memory away.

Finally the Bull interferes, taking a gentle and then a firm grip of Dorian’s wrists but Dorian’s body is tight, tight like a string on a bow and as a result the giant simply pulls the smaller man up, to sitting and then to his lap. And his lover’s strong smell fills Dorian’s nostrils it triggers other kind of memories in him, ones that make him weak, even weaker and the Bull kisses him, and then they are no longer memories but it’s real and it’s here and now.

“It wasn’t you…” the Bull finally murmurs when they break the kiss, both out of breath “And you’re definitely not broken…” Dorian can feel the laugh rumbling inside the wide chest as Bull presses a knee gently against Dorian’s budding erection. 

Dorian closes his eyes breathing out, darkness feels comfortable, arousal a pleasant tingling sensation that keeps him grounded to this body instead of floating on the edges of the veil like he’s used to doing for so long.

“Bull…” he murmurs “What now… I’m here but we can hardly pretend everything is back to normal…”  
"You do as your role demands you, as we all do..." the Bull says "Qun or not, there is truth to that..."

And when Dorian falls asleep again, he dreams of the somber black haired child.

****

Dorian sits on the balcony in the sunshine.

Walking tires him quickly but the Bull almost never leaves his side. The larger man seems to have all the time in the world and endless amounts of patience, and Dorian lacks in both. His muscles have withered with a lack of use, and he has seen enough that he refuses to look into the mirror again. He allows the inquisitor to send in the barber though, tufts of black hair fall on the floor as Bull chuckles “It was fine, really” but Dorian can’t wait to get rid of the haggard look.

He sleeps curled around the Bull and then banishes him from their bed, refusing to let him touch him again. I’m not ready he screams and the Bull gathers his clothes and leaves without an argument. But when the nightmares return, Dorian wakes up to the strong arms cradling him and this time he won’t send them away.

His friends come and see him, one by one. All of them so supporting and encouraging and trying their best, and Dorian keeps up a brave front and makes a light of it. No one asks about Lea and Dorian also avoids the subject. He refuses to leave his room before he can walk without a cane, and even then only in the darkness.

Only time he sees the sun is when the Bull makes him sit on the balcony, and it isn’t that bad even though he will never admit it. Eventually he becomes so used to sitting out there that he doesn’t even notice the children at first. Not quite close enough to hear, but slowly and surely a group of children walk across the yard following their teacher. And Dorian tenses, sits up straight… the last two girls, older holding the younger one’s hand, those curls and that…

“They can’t see you…” the Bull says softly, hand reassuringly on Dorian’s arm.  
“You knew, you asshole…” Dorian hisses and the Bull shrugs.  
“You can’t hide from them forever, you know…” the man says softly “Sooner or later…”

Dorian follows the girls with his eyes as long as he can see them, until their teacher leads them inside, and he slowly lets out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding.

“She never smiles, does she…” Dorian says quietly but the Bull shakes his head.  
“She has her father’s smile…” he says, and Dorian wants to scream.

****

For a long time Dorian thinks he's alone with his pain.

Sure, the Bull is there, listening to him talk, but how can the ox _understand_ , Dorian frowns annoyed, when everything has always been so easy for him. Until one night when even the Iron Bull's patience runs out.

"Listen to yourself, Dorian..." the man finally scoffs "You're so wrapped up in your own head you can't see shit anymore!"

Dorian is taken aback by this outburst, sitting up in the bed.

"Look..." the Bull says a little apologetically "It was horrible for you, and I know you can never get those years back... But.." he says slowly and looks at Dorian very seriously "Tevinter is not that different from the Qun... Tamassrans breed us just the same, just that no one is ever burdened with the free will you 'Vints find so precious..." he takes Dorian's arm, trying to pull the man back down but Dorian frowns.  
"How can you even compare the two! Breeding programs of the Qunari are nothing like arranged marriages Tevinter!" he snaps "And you were never-" he starts but the Bull cocks his head, urging him on with the eyes that say I dare you to say it and Dorian swallows the rest of the sentence "You were..." he breathes out.  
"Of course I was..." the Bull chuckles "Breeding is just another duty under the Qun and look at me... wouldn't _you_ breed this..."  
"But then it means..." Dorian says stunned, he feels like he's falling "That you have children too!"  
The Bull shrugs "I may, I may not... only the Tamassrans know... And if I do, they are now all my brothers and sisters under the Qun..."

Dorian is silent for a long while, and when the Bull nudges him again this time he allows the larger man to pull him back onto the bed.

"You're not alone. It happened to you... but not only you..." the Bull says softly "Did you ever think how she felt..."  
"Lea?" Dorian says and swallows, suddenly ashamed because the Bull is right and he never gave a second thought to how Lea took it all.  
"And did you know how she's been spending a lot of time with a certain advisor since her arrival here?" the Bull asks.  
"With Cullen?" Dorian frowns surprised.  
"With Josephine." the Bull replies and Dorian sits up again, shocked.  
"With Josephine?" he asks, incredulously and groans and repeats it "With Josephine?!"

The Bull sighs and sits up too, watching his lover.

"I always assumed..." Dorian says and feels sick "That she wanted children, the she wanted the family... I never stopped to think that she was just as big of a victim in this as I was..." last words are just a whisper.  
"I always assumed there were many reasons behind her wanting to come here..." the Bull says low "But maybe it is better that she kept her preference hidden, otherwise you would still both be in Tevinter but now they'd need two nurses instead of one to wipe the drool..." and the man laughs at the thought and Dorian punches him.

But after the morbid jokes have been avenged and made up for, Dorian promises to talk to Lea.

****

You don’t know anything about flesh and blood families, Dorian complains, but the Bull has proved time and time again that the knows a thing and two about Dorian. And he is right, once again, now this is the only thing Dorian can think about.

Lea is there, of course, and even though it’s not the first time they have spoken since their arrival to Skyhold, Dorian still can’t bring himself to look her in the eyes.

“Leonora…” Lea says softly “Look who’s come to see you…”

The girl has been piecing together a puzzle but she looks up.

“Leonora…” Dorian says, and clears his throat “Do you know… who I am?”

The girl nods “You’re my father…” she says and looks him in the eyes “The Iron Bull says you have been sick but you are feeling better now…”

Dorian shoots a glance at the Bull who’s standing in the back, but Dorian tries to smile at the girl.

“Well he is right…” Dorian nods a little “I am better… and I would like to get to know you…”  
“Do you like puzzles?” Leonora asks “The Iron Bull brought me this puzzle yesterday…” she points at the one she had been working on and Dorian resists the urge to glare at the Bull again.  
“And… does the Iron Bull visit you often?” Dorian asks, sitting down to look at the puzzle.  
“The Iron Bull says I’m his favourite little mageling, so he visits as often as he can…” the girl says and looks at the puzzle frowning, that frown she gets from her mother and Dorian’s chest tightens “I don’t know where this piece goes…” she says and points a piece with her finger.

Dorian has almost uncontrollable urge to wipe that smug grin off the Bull’s face he knows must be there, but instead he picks up the piece Leonora had trouble with and puts it on it’s place.

“You have to look at the big picture… and find the place for the piece…” he says slowly and the girl nods.  
“And after this, I have another puzzle we can do…” Leonora says, and she looks at Dorian and she gives him a smile, one that in 15 years men will kill for.

Dorian breathes and smiles back to her. They solve many puzzles that day.

****

Dorian meets all of his children, one by one, and something that used to be a source of fear and shame become one of the greatest joys of his life.

Leonora is a thoughtful child, carefully considering all his options before acting. Her mother says that her nightmares have already started and Dorian knows it won’t be long now before her magic abilities start to manifest. In time she will become one of the most powerful mages the world has ever known, of that Dorian has no doubt.

Lily is a complete opposite of her cool older sister. Quick to anger and always charging everywhere head first - the Bull laughs heartily and gives her a dagger to use as a sword (which Lea quickly replaces with a wooden one). She adores her sister and would follow her anywhere.

Baby Hal never stops smiling. Having never known another home, he grows up in Skyhold and instead of the catacombs of Minrathous he will know the open sky, and call elves, dwarfs and Qunari his friends. When the time comes he chooses himself a new name, and as his step-father always says - names give you the power to take control of your own destiny.

But that is another story.


End file.
